“You have been selected to be in a pool of contestants,” the postcard read. It arrived via the US postal system in late August. “That’s nice,” I thought, remembering the lines and lines of people who were auditioning for the game show–and that was at the Charlotte audition. The auditioning crew had been to 20 other cities–I’m certain it was an Olympic-sized pool of contestants. Two weeks later, on September 16, I got the phone call from the the area code “212”–New York City. “We want you to come to New York City to be on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” I sincerely hope that associate producer’s hearing has recovered from the damage of my high-pitched, very loud, scream. “Your episode will be recorded on September 26,” he said. What? Ten days to make arrangements to get to New York? Ten days to learn all the U.S. Presidents’ birth places? Ten days to learn the favorite foods of Motown recording artists? Ten days to memorize the details of the state flags? No–the details of every country’s flag? So much trivia to remember! So many details to manage.
In the Trivia/General Knowledge of my local Barnes & Noble, I found Ken Jennings’ Brain Busters, The Big Book of Trivia, Trivia Bible . . . I took a grand total of eight books to the checkout counter. Gathering information was my main priority for the following week. September 26 arrived faster than I wanted. There were twelve other contestants waiting at the stage door. We were escorted in, given a tour of the studio, allowing each person to step up to the podium and answer a question. “Meredith will stand here,” they said. My time at the podium finally came at 2:00 in the afternoon. Meredith was very kind and personable. The audience cheered wildly. I saw my mom, dad, and my friend, Jane (who I had not seen since 1984) sitting in the “family seating spotlight”. The first question popped up, and BAM! $100! I answered all the questions I could, jumped two questions, and asked the audience for help on another question. I saw eight of the ten initial questions and was able to walk away with $14,000–not too bad for about seven minutes of thinking.
Throughout those ten days–from the day I received the phone call to the minute I signed the release allowing me to receive my winnings–I was a bundle of nerves. Sleepless nights, butterflies in my gut, stress-induced zits! I didn’t even remember the questions until three weeks after returning to Charlotte. The INFORMATION was there, but had chosen not to be TRANSFORMED by the once-in-a-lifetime experience. With the benefit of hindsight, I knew the answer to all the questions I saw during my chance at the million dollar prize, but out of fear, I jumped questions or asked for the audience’s help. I often wonder what would have happened if I’d spent those ten days focusing on my breathing, my centeredness, my inner calm. Taking in all the segmented information, processing it appropriately, then allowing a calm and peaceful presence to envelop the chaos–that’s the TRANSFORMATION. It’s almost as though I was afraid of winning the million dollars.
One of my tasks as a coach, minister, chaplain, and educator is to engage with people about the distinction of living life out of fear and the need for power versus living life from a place of joy and passion. It is easy to get caught up in the events of life, so much so that we lose our mindfulness in busy-ness. There’s nothing wrong with taking in information. The bonus points, though, come when what you learn transforms your life. There’s “heady” knowledge and “hearty” knowledge. Knowing the importance of “both/and”, as opposed to “either/or”–that’s worth more than any game show prize.
Since the time since my episode was recorded, I have stood in similar emotional places–qualifying exams for my doctoral work, interviews for jobs, facilitating large groups in leadership development workshops. From my experience on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” I have learned to take what I know and allow it to transform my way of thinking. Managing my fear is much easier when I take the time to process the feelings, thus TRANSFORMING the INFORMING. On famous letter-writer said, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Change your mind. Change your way of thinking. Be transformed.
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